A Journey of Soul-Searching

Dear Soul People,

I am fortunate that in my line of work, I am always meeting new people and so many of them become a part of my extended family. There is always so much I get to learn through these interactions with them and today, I wanted to share one such interaction with all of you.

During one of my conversations with very old friends whom I had believed to be happily married all along, I just happened to have asked the wife ‘Are you happy with your partner?’ Very honestly, I thought she would say of course I am and that is what I have been seeing for so many years, but to my utter shock, she said ‘No, I am not’. When I asked her what was wrong because we had seen her husband to be such an amazing partner, her reply was an eye-opener for me ‘My happiness does not depend on him’.

Little do we realise that you can make anyone else happy only when you are at peace with yourself. How much can you keep pouring out from a glass half full which is not getting replenished? At some point, you are bound to run out of water.

While a lot of us are struggling to juggle between the never-ending highs and lows of life, a lot of us also give up our control of our happiness and place it in another’s hand, which is just as bad. Keeping someone happy is not an easy task, and all of us as humans have our days of chaos before the calmness settles in. As co-dependent, as we are on each other to survive in this karmic world, I truly believe that we should always maintain the delicate balance of needing someone and depending on them entirely.

Always remember that relationships, especially marriages are never 50/50. Some days they will be 20/80 and some days they will only be 20/30 and you will have to work together to reach another 50 together. This is where your actual strength, bond and love will be tested by time, and it is only with patience and resilience that you will together navigate through the deep waters of life. So before you add all the expectations to your life, invest in yourself, and make yourself whole, so that you don’t need anyone else to complete you, but only complement you.

Love,

Chharu.